Meditation has been criticised for being a solitary selfish discipline
I agree it is selfish.
Sometimes being selfish is a good thing. Think about it. Who else keeps you fit? Helps you eat the right food? Helps you make decisions (good or bad)?
Only one person – you.
The choices we make shape our lives and our future. We need to remind ourselves that we have the power to change for good or bad. We often beat ourselves up for the bad choices we make in regarding our career, relationships and health. We need to focus more on the positive choices we make, and learn from mistakes without dwelling on the past.
Back to meditation
By meditating we learn to calm the mind and not react. This is one skill I’ve yet to master! However the learning process is part of the challenge, the fun and the reward. This work is selfish yet good for you and others. Why? Well they don’t tell you to look after yourself first when taking off on a plane for nothing. You’d be useless to your family and friends if you couldn’t breathe on a plane in an emergency. By looking after ourselves first we can then pass on the goodness to others. Remember Jocko’s quote calm is contagious in Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss.
Do you ever want to help someone when you’re stressed, angry or worried? Not normally, and I’m guilty of snarling at times – sorry.
So don’t feel guilty about being selfish.
Take the time to meditate and chill for the greater good.
The last few weeks have tested my positivity and made me question myself. I can see by looking back on the early posts that I wrote them in a positive frame of mind and being honest it’s far easier than right now.
Nothing too bad has happened but my anxiety has risen greatly over the last week.
The usual things that crop up in life and in work.
It brings to mind a quote I heard from Conor McGregor about the law of attraction and how you need to act like you have good things already. I get this. But staying up beat when things are not going well is tough. We must try to believe that brighter days are around the corner. He said having self belief that everything will be alright is easy when things are going well. We can all imagine great possibilities on a sunny day having a beer in a beer garden in July. The hard part he said was doing that when things have gone to shit!
That’s the real test.
Can you do it then?
More to the point can I see the good in the low points?
Preparing yourself is half the battle
Tim Ferriss cites Marcus Aurelius’ quote that he prepared himself by expecting to meet “bad” people everyday. Maybe it comes back to lowering expectations about people and situations. That way there’s no surprises. to be fair I do that more than I used to. It can still affect you when you feel that life is unfair. Dealing with people who treat people like numbers not humans is hard. I don’t think expecting everything to be a bed of roses is negative, I see it as a positive. I will try to be ready for whatever comes my way.
The truth is we can’t change other people
So what can we do?
We can change our reactions. We can change the situation we find ourselves in. If we can’t make a change now, work towards a change. Never complain and do nothing. Fuck that for an attitude. Even taking yourself out of the situation gives you some power, some control. Sometimes we might need to retreat. There’s an old saying from the street, “Run away to fight another day”. Or as an old trainer said to me sometimes you just walk away and that’s it. Don’t worry about pride, do what’s right for you.
So what next?
Where’s the positive in a negative?
Firstly I can see what’s going on. I’m not lost in stress and anxiety.
Yes anxiety is in my body and mind but I understand what’s happening.
I have stepped out of the situation to assess options.
I’m reminded that it’s easy being positive when your positive.
Try it when you’re under pressure, that’s a real skill.
It has given me a chance to practice what I preach.
I’ve trained harder than normal and appreciate my body and how it makes you feel better after a work out.
I need to make more effort to change my situation, as only I can do that.
I feel better after writing this and need to write more.