Patience and confidence
When anxiety gets a grip of us it seems like it’s never ending. When bad days occur we feel like this is the way it’s always going to be.
What do we need in these times?
Patience and confidence.
The patience to to understand that things in life won’t last forever. And the confidence to believe that good things can be around the corner. This links to my last post about Conor McGregor and how easy it is to think positive in the good times. This is where we show are character and experience. Let’s face it all good intentions go out the window when we feel anxious and worried.
Like Mike Tyson said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face!”
Our minds often veer to the negative side, to make things worse before you know the outcome.
The Stoic Seneca wrote, “Many are harmed by fear itself, and many have come to their fate while dreading fate.”
How true this is. We build up stories of how things are going to work out, as if we are fortune tellers. We picture negative scenarios more than positive ones. Before a job interview we think, what if I don’t have a good answer? Why not think – this interview is going to go as well as possible, I’ll give it my all. Can you see the difference? The first one is out of our control ie we may not have a good answer. But the second positive thought is well within our control. We need to focus on what we can control and influence and learn to avoid thoughts that we have no say in.
I agree it’s easier said than done.
So start small, start with a traffic light, don’t get frustrated over the colour of a light! Don’t get wound up when waiting for a coffee. Start from the easiest point and work up. It does work but takes practice.
Naval Ravikant said, “In any situation in life you have three options…You can change it, or you can leave it,.What is not a good option is to sit around wishing you would change it but not changing it, wishing you would leave it but not leaving it, and not accepting it. It’s that struggle, that aversion. that is responsible for most of our misery. The phrase that I probably use the most to myself in my head is just one word: accept.” *
A great quote from one of my favourite podcasts from the Tim Ferriss show.
To focus on what we can influence is a skill I need to learn.
* Taken from Tim Ferriss – Tools of Titans book, page 548. This book is great, very useful in all areas of life.